Club Apocalypse: The Original Plastics

Can it get any "Mean"er than the Apocalypse?  Meet  Conquest, War, Famine and Death. These are the four most popular studs of the ever impending apocalypse. They were basically the plastics of reformation art/symbolism and reside in the most popular burn book of them all- the book of Revelations...you may have heard of it. When they stroll down the hallway of life, you better move out of their way- because they're here to end all life as you know it. This gentlemen are relevant to our class because if you remember, we talked about how during the Reformation apocalyptic themed art, literature and general thoughts were popular.

In regards to time periods related to our class, here are some famous works that showcase this era's fascination with the Apocalypse.

"The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse"
Mattius Gerung, c. 1530-32

"The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse"
Albrecht Dürer, c. 1497-98

 Background of the 4:
There was the guy named John. He lived in a cave in Patmos, and had visions of the end of days, aka the second coming of Christ, aka the apocalypse. (Fun fact: I've been to this cave, and touched to rock that apparently split into three parts during his vision, representing the holy trinity. It was small, cramped and I too probably would have had the end of days on my mind if I lived there.)  In this vision he saw the Lamb of God (christ) opening 7 seals. Contained within the 7 seals were the four gentlemen described above. There are many descriptions and interpretations of the appearance of these guys, however they are commonly described as seen below. Bonus, I've added their "Mean Girls" counterparts.

Conquest: The first rider to appear out of the heavens riding a white horse. Some believe he was christ, delivering a divine cleansing upon his people, while others believe that he was the antichrist delivering punishment. Either way, this guy is the leader of the pack, and is clearly the protagonist of the horsemen story. For this purpose, I have declared him the Cady Heron of the apocalypse. At first, Cady represents a positive role model. She friends the unfriendly, stands up for the little man and in general wants to spread her happy African morals to the other members of the school. However, we misjudged. Cady actually becomes a real tart, which basically ends in the school being throw into complete chaos. In the end, the school is better off and "cleansed" by her appearance, but overall, it probably could have been handled better.

War: The next to arrive on the scene is war. He rides a red house and carries a sword. The red is suppose the represent the blood he spills in battle and he is typically compared to Mars, the Roman god of War. This guys is ruthless, tactical and basically does whatever it take to get the job done. He is clearly the Regina George of the Apocalypse. Regina is maniacal, strategic and has little to no care for anyone else but herself. She storms into any situation, guns blazing and doesn't take any prisoners. Regina is the catalyst the the epic climax of the film, when she passes out the flyers of the burn book in the school. I'd like to think that War's horse had "John of Patmos made out with a hotdog" painted on the side of it... 

Famine: The third horseman to arrive is famine. He is riding a black horse and is holding scales. In the scripture, he rattles off threats about wheat and barley. Clearly, this is the most annoying of the horseman, and thus he deserves the Gretchen Wieners comparison. Her dad invented toaster strudel...yet she doesn't share any with her friends, famine much? Not fetch. 

                                              

Death: The final horseman to appear is Death. This rider is the only one that is actually named in the text, the others are just assumed. He rides in on the "pale" horse. Some interpret this as either white or a sickly green, representing the skin tone of someone who is near death. This guy is commonly depicted holding a scythe, typical of the character of Death. It is said that behind Death was all of hell following close behind. Because of his tardiness and general destructive qualities, Death will be compared to Karen Smith. This is more of a long shot...but someone has to Karen right? There's always a Karen of the group. I think its safe to say that Karen messes everything up due her extreme ditzyness...compared to death who literally brings all of hell with him to Earth. I'd like to imagine that Death was a mouse for Halloween...or a weatherman. 

This is obviously the most scholarly post you've read yet. 

You can follow this link in order to see the four horsemen depicted through history, and also the direct scriptures from Revelation that mentions them. 

Sources: 

http://publicdomainreview.org/2012/12/21/the-four-horsemen-of-the-apocalypse/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_Horsemen_of_the_Apocalypse#Pale_Horse

http://nypress.com/the-four-horsemen-scholars-look-back-at-the-reformation-a-gruesomely-

    chaotic-time/